January 30, 2006
The Majesty of Rock Quiz
1. Which of the following power-chord anthems influenced Beethoven in composing his power-chord anthem, The Fifth Symphony?
A. Smoke on the Water
B. Iron Man
C. Cat Scratch Fever
2. In which of the following songs does Bob Seger reminisce?
A. Down on Main Street
B. Old Time Rock-N-Roll
C. Like A Rock
D. Against The Wind
E. Night Moves
F. All Of The Above
3. Topic: Bob Seger is to reminiscing what Jerry Seinfeld is to observational humor. Discuss.
4. If Steve Miller went from Phoenix, Arizona all the way to Tacoma, Philadelphia, Atlanta, L.A., and Lowell George went from Tucson to Tucumcari, Tehachapi to Tonopah, and both were traveling at 85 miles per hour and both were semi-sober, who would arrive first in northern California where the girls are warm? Show Your Work (5 points).
5. Which of the following is an actual person?
A. Molly Hatchet
B. Steely Dan
C. Pink Floyd
D. Tipper Gore
E. None of the Above
6. Which of the following bands' music wins the Pabst Blue Ribbon Award for sounding most like a beer commercial?
A. Huey Lewis and the News
B. Lover Boy
C. ZZ Top
D. Bon Jovi
7. Match the musician or band to the individual or band of whom they are basically a cut-rate version (one point each):
A. ___ Southside Johnny-----------1. The Rolling Stones
B. ___ Marilyn Manson-------------2. Allman Bros. Band
C. ___ Aerosmith--------------------3. Bruce Springsteen
D. ___ Meat Loaf--------------------4. Jimi Hendrix
E. ___ Lynard Skynard-------------5. Meat Loaf
F. ___ Robin Trower----------------6. Alice Cooper
8. Which of the following is the worst rock-n-roll song about rock-n-roll?
A. Old Time Rock-N-Roll
B. Rock-N-Roll Hoochie Koo
C. I Love Rock-N-Roll
D. We Built This City
E. All of the Above
9. Physics Theory Question: Could Rod Stewart sell out any further? If “yes” present an equation determining how many light years it would take an average person to get there (4 points).
Here’s a fun game to play while we pause to catch our breath. Use the following band names in varying combinations to create your own laugh-filled variation on Abbott and Costello’s hilarious skit “Who’s on First?”
A. The Who B. The Guess Who C. Was Not Was D. Ah-Ha
10. Which of the following bands started out making decent AOR rock and then devolved into recording cheesy power ballads?
D. REO Speedwagon
E. All of The Above
11. Match the band or individual with the song that should be considered justification for their punishment by death (one point each):
A. ___ Meatloaf-------------1. Amanda
B. ___ Boston---------------2. Anything
C. ___ Jimmy Buffet-------3. I Would Do Anything For Love
D. ___ .38 Special----------4. Cheeseburger in Paradise
E. ___ Loverboy-------------5. Rockin' Into the Night
12. If the Anti-Christ were to have three heads, which of the following bands would comprise those three heads?
A. Journey, Foreigner, REO Speedwagon
B. Quiet Riot, Jefferson Starship, Night Ranger
C. .38 Special, Lover Boy, Def Leopard
D. Ratt, Twisted Sister, White Snake
13. Which dude has the funkiest hair?
A. Keith Richards
C. George Clinton
D. Mike Score (dude from Flock of Seagulls)
14. Which band has the best one-armed drummer?
A. Def Leppard
15. Who Do You Love?
A. Bo Diddley
B. George Thorogood
C. The Doors
D. Ronnie Hawkins
16. Which of the following is actually a law firm and not a band?
A. Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young
B. Medeski, Martin and Wood
C. Anderson, Bruford, Wakeman and Howe
D. Bachman Turner Overdrive
E. Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme
17. True or False: Gram Parsons is the king of lysergically inclined, Nudie-suited, anti-Nashville mavericks of the late 1960s and early ’70s.
BONUS QUESTION: Beck and Jeff Beck are sitting on a fence. If Beck falls off, who is left? (1/3 point)
1. There's no telling (Whatever also accepted)
4. Lowell George is dead. Steve Miller's career is, too.
5. E (the Tipper Gore had ya goin' there, eh?)
6. A close one, but we gotta give it to B. Loverboy
7. A-3, B-6, C-1, D-5, E-2, F-4
9. Yes - .33 1/3 light years
11. A-2, B-1, C-4, D-5, E-2
12. D, for pure apocalyptic scare value
13. CC, cuz funky begets funky (and I love ya, dred!)
15. A (always the original)
16. E (the Weehauken office)
17. Oh so True
BONUS: The god of all guitar masters. Eat shit, Clapton.
26-33 1/3: You are a true Majesty of Rock. Pick up your air guitar, hair dryer, spandex, and sequined opera cape on the way out.
17-25: Work on your chops in opening bands for a while. You’re not quite ready to headline yet.
8-16: Dude, I’ll bet you think Van Halen wrote All Day and All Night, don’t you?
0-7: American Idol is on tonight (Check local listings or ask mom).
The bulk of this quiz was compiled through the genius of one Michael Hillman, esq. (with a tip o' the hat to O' Tim and The Rock Snob's Dictionary).
Copyright 2006 Michaelopedia Press. All rights reserved.