August 16, 2006


Under the rug again?

Honey, get the broom!

A recent string of posts/comments has got me thinking (watch out) - What about blogging makes us happy? For me it's mostly the attempts to provide interesting glimpses into each other's lives, thoughts and beliefs through witty banter and occasionally intelligent discussion. These attempts often get heated, but that's usually okay cuz a lot of times I learn something. But what I learned in said string is that too often we just let things get to a point where the most convenient (or desirable) thing to do is to fling a bunch of poop under the rug. Now I’m not the tidiest person, but fecal waftiness in my house is something that gets addressed post haste.

In this recent kerfuffle (<< word going on my favorites list, BTW) one of the main characters took issue with the supposed moderation of comments on my blog, and went on to characterize me at one point as “whinging and whining” about their behavior as I saw it. Well, I don’t know from whinging, but I guess I did suggest something like using the proper tool for the proper job, say, using a mitt for fielding hot grounders as opposed to yelling at the ball. I don’t have the comment moderation on my Blogger account turned on, and I have yet to delete anyone's comment since starting this about a year ago (of course I reserve the right to remove whatever I please if need be). Essentially what goes up stays up, no problem.

Sure, heated discussion and snarkiness go with the territory, a point I will acquiesce to aforementioned in'dvdl. But among the three or four blogs on which this was an issue, this comment was left: “Why do people equate name calling and character assassination with strength, but politeness and courtesy while arguing an issue as weakness? Seems like it would be just the opposite to me.”

Bullseye, as far as I’m concerned. The party of the first part says, “Cowboy up. It’s no tea party, peeps” (<< word heretofore disqualified for poseur ghettoness). The party of the second part (that’s me) says, “OK it’s a kegger!” My kind of crowd – fun, rowdy. But I’d say cowboys and beer makes "kiss my ass" a rather unpopular phrase, and would consider its use at such a function unwise, unless you’re partial to spitting out your own teeth. Sure, your physically safe on the Internet, but is a little common courtesy too much to ask?

Most times bloguments are at least entertaining if not educational. Again, blogging wouldn't be much fun if we never disagree or don’t get a bit snarky sometimes. But then it also wears thin when the so-called resolution frequently comes to sweeping harsh words and feelings under the rug all of the time. I'd think that eventually the parental types in the playgroup will lament entertaining/engaging the brats who come over and trash the place. Accumulating a laundry list of pissed off playmates is no way to go through life. No. 1 said, “If p%$ps don't know me by now, they never will.” That’s pretty shallow, even for the Internet. Is the nature of our bloggerhood so unyielding as to think we can't ever change someone's mind or vice-versa? No room for growing up? I’m not convinced yet because like I said, I’ve learned things. But if so, that sucks and will probably cause me to blog less and less.

1. Peeps is MY word. I stole it from a Brit cuz I thought it was a fun way to say people or folks. Now I have a whole bunch of peeps saying peeps, which I think is trez cool. I like how a lot of us have these "inside jokes," and they're pretty accessible to new peeps as well.

2. I also lurve kerfuffle, which I learned from the Sour Grapes guy. I've learned a ton of language stuff from him, and you can put that down as part of my reason for blogging.

3. As far as Bad Language goes, I don't see the diff in calling someone a moron or a fuckwit. Both are the same degree of nasty to me. Apparently you think one is okay and the other not, and we can disagree about that. I'm usually pretty flexible in moderating my language on a blog if I like the blogger and know of his or her preference. Or if it's too much of a PITA, then I might not visit so often.

4. Look past whether someone uses swear words or not and try to see the real attitude. Someone who goes around calling everyone morons who disagree with him on politics isn't exactly an example of politeness and courtesy, but you seem to ignore that. Your choice, of course.

5. I agree with you on growth. I know I've changed for the better since I first began blogging. I'm much more willing to listen to other POVs now. I think it's absolutely awesome that I get to interact with peeps all over the country, and all over the world. I mean, THAT IS JUST SO COOL!!!

This is so long I should have made my own poastie about it, eh? ;)
You were well on your way to having that elusive Thursday Thirteen, Paula.

I like "kerfuffle" a lot, but "peeps" still makes me think of those damned marshmallow ducks. I don't use it.

I can disagree, even disdainfully, without using "moron" or "fuckwit", but that's my choice. It isn't easy having this much class! :-)
Well said, and of course I agree with you.

Unfortunately, the issue isn't always language (though let's face it, being called names at every turn does get abrasive), but a tendency for some to storm in looking in every corner to pick a fight ... most often based on a simple inability (or unwillingness??) to to understand the post/comment in question. Daring to point this out just results in an increase in anger and aggression.

The party of the first part, to whom you referred, has done this so many times ... either misunderstaning a point or focusing on one thing out of context, and immediately rant with belligerence and hysteria. The first words are always insults and curses, followed by threats and bullying. Yawn. That wasn't fun in 3rd grade, and it isn't now.

And then others offer excuses for his actions or try and explain it away. Well, they're his buddies, so that is fine, but really ... there are times when opening ones eyes might be educational.

Am I innocent of prodding for a reaction? No. But I also don't go in guns-a-blazing, and only after having to endure all manner of this annoying behavior have I started to be more a provocatuer

For my part, I am just tired of these schoolyard shouting matches and pissing contests. The problem is, it just keeps happening. The ridiculous part is the instigator tends to be able to dish it out, but not take it.

So, here I am, yet again, probably just adding more gasoline to a nascent flame war on someone elses blog. Am I calling the party out? Yeah, I guess I am. Gravy for the Goose, and all, I suppose. Soon I'll be called an "asstard" or something worse, and it just keeps goint on. Whatever. If it makes him feel better, good for him.

I apologize in advance for daring to speak up and offering a contrary point.

But, really ... the whole act is so stale. And, like you, I think this really sucks.
I can attest to his love for the word "kerfuffle." This is the third usage by O'Tim I've seen/heard this week, and I've probably missed a few ;)
'Honey, get the broom'

I am pregnant and no longer sweep, so I am staying out of this one.
Paula - you are right on the British origin of YOUR word. Harry Enfield made it popular in the 1980s with his Greek fast food restaurateur character Stavros, whose broken English caused it to be his form for "people" (Wikipedia ROCKS!)

I'm not trying to be a PITA with language. As I told you before, swear away, just don't be all kneejerk rude with it.

Someone who goes around calling everyone morons who disagree with him on politics isn't exactly an example of politeness and courtesy, but you seem to ignore that.

Point taken, as we have all made our impressions and every blogger has some sort of a "track record." I shall endeavor to be more vigilant and fair to all concerned.

Joe - It isn't easy having this much class! :-)

School bumming you out that much? I agree, though, that you should not address your professors as "fuckwit" or "moron" - "dickweed" is maybe okay.

Fez - no apology necessary.

School will be cool this semester! My Lit class will rock!
My kids have been saying peeps longtime. I think they learned it from Snoop Dogg, G.
Having been an observer-at-a-polite-distance of several brouhahas (my equivalent of kerfuffle), it seems to me that there are certain bloggers who simply enjoy any excuse to throw a complete and total fit, and they will deliberately misinterpret anything and everything said to them in order to indulge in the pleasure of fit-throwing.

There is certainly much to be said for a frank and even a heated exchange of ideas. But there's not much point, as far as I can see, to engaging a party who cannot and will not ever see anyone else's point, regardless of the degree of politesse with which it is presented.

At some point, after one has sparred with such an individual, really the only thing to do is take the high road and do a little carpet-under-sweeping, in my opinion.

My claim to fame in blog arguments is that I made a nice woman cry by posting a long comment on a blog she wrote about how middle-aged single women can make themselves more attractive. The substance of my comment was that her post was a great example of how women buy into male oppression and perpetuate unrealistic standards. Boy, oh boy. You would have thought I'd disembowelled her cat. Yeesh.
Oh face it, you're just a heartless bastard.
I agree with David. It's just pointless to talk to some peeps because they are so wrapped up in hate that they are pathologically unable to consider another POV. To them, it's so normal to call everyone a moron who disagrees that they're surprised anyone takes it as an insult. Both far righties and lefties often fall into this category. I accept the blame for foolishly trying to engage a couple of them lately in various venues.
At some point, after one has sparred with such an individual, really the only thing to do is take the high road and do a little carpet-under-sweeping, in my opinion.

All things considered, David, I suppose you're right. For bloggers we should not be so concerned as we would for a co-worker or the flesh and blood that we hang with. That is where the fine tuning is done.
I think that the carpet-under-sweeping is more for one's own sake than for the sake of the offending blogger. I think it feels more, um, I don't know -- civilized, I guess, to take a deep breath, rise above the fray, and let the matter drop. But then again, as you pointed out, I'm a heartless bastard, so what the hell do I know?
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