February 09, 2007

 

Brought to you by The Official Hand Sanitizer of the General Assembly

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Today's exercise - How many jokes can you make from the following article?
Sanitizer comes in handy for lawmaker

Atlanta Journal-Constitution Thursday, February 8, 2007

The huge bottle of hand sanitizer that permanently sits on state Rep. Martin Scott’s desk is a constant reminder of the health hazard politicians face every day: handshakes.

Handshakes carry germs. And germs can make people sick.

Scott, an ultra-conservative Republican from Rossville, knows that all too well. He got sick with the flu in 2005, when he was a freshman in the Georgia House of Representatives.

“Everybody had it and I tried to avoid it but it got me,” Scott, a business consultant, said of his bout with the flu. “It was the worst I ever had.”

Scott speculated his illness might have come from someone he came in contact with at the State Capitol. Constituents and lobbyists routinely seek handshakes with lawmakers at the Capitol every day.

“I’m the world’s worst. I walk around shaking everybody’s hands,” Scott said.

Once he recovered, Scott returned to his seat in the House of Representatives with his large bottle of Germ-X hand sanitizer. Then he handed out smaller bottles of it to lawmakers sitting around him.

Scott periodically squirts some of the cool, clear liquid into his hands every day the legislature is in session.

“One has to be careful of rubbing shoulders with politicians,” Scott joked. “I would definitely recommend that constituents use Germ-X after shaking hands with their local politicians. I’m probably no exception.”

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Comments:
O'buttocks!
 
“I would definitely recommend that constituents use Germ-X after shaking hands with their local politicians. I’m probably no exception.”

I'd recommend cutting your fucking hand clean off after contact with just about any pollie.
 
How about if we just hose the politicians off with Lysol?
 
damn, Mark has stolen my witty one liner.
My Plan B joke would have to be make sure you count your finger jewellery afterwards.
Not as good as the one i had planned to use. Bloody Mark.
 
You are a good teacher of the zinger, Lucy. Take pride in that.
 
I hope he squirts some in his mouth after sucking the lobbyists' dicks.
 
Gee ... there sure does seem to be quite a bit of antagonism toward politicians, eh?

Ook ook
 
What's a zinger when its at home?
 
I would probably vote for him just based on hygiene sympathy.
 
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