Much That Is Hidden

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The Bergman and Fellini regions are off to a start that Der Kommissar Kos surely knew would dust up some debate from the principle players. Each region garnered similar 11th over 6th seed upsets, but the howling didn’t stop there, no siree.

First, in the action from the Bergman contests at the Kodak, the Marx Brothers ran circles around Alec Guiness and the rest of the stiff upper lips from Bridge On The River Kwai in a stunning 13th over 5th seed upset. Duck Soup head coach Rufus T. Firefly said his team was determined to win for the glory of Freedonia and for the substantial Mrs. Teasdale. “Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honour, which is probably more than she ever did,” Firefly reminded his crew.

William Holden held strong at the line for Kwai, and Sessue Hayakawa was an impressive taskmaster to the crew on defense, but it was not enough. Soup’s Chicolinni had the one-two with foil Pinky in three-pointers and rebounds respectively, and it simply wore down the already beleaguered POWs. The proud Chicolinni gave a shout out to his uncle who lives in Dollars, Taxes. Pinky had no comment.

Kwai’s defeat, combined with the loss of Dr. Zhivago to A Clockwork Orange in a close 9 v. 8 matchup, prompted local philm phan Looney to nearly bust a vein ranting to Kos. “A couple more like that and I'm gonna have a hard time taking you seriously. You must have it in for David Lean,” said The Loon, referring to the director of both losing films. His angst was surely heightened by the fact that after the first round he trails the tournament leaders by five points.

The other upset in the Bergman came in the contest between Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid versus All About Eve, with the former, ranked 11 in the region winning a squeaker over the latter. No. 6 Eve, with her sights set firm on acquiring the championship, was startled by the most handsome fugitive duo in (movie) history. “I will regard this great honor not so much as an award for what I have achieved, but a standard to hold against what I have yet to accomplish,” said Eve before being reminded that she did not win.

On to the Fellini, where the big news was undoubtedly No. 12 American Graffiti’s toppling of fifth-ranked Some Like It Hot. Looney again weighed incredulous. “OMFG!!! Grafitti over Some Like it Hot? I don't care what O'Tim says, that's whacked. OMG,” said The Loon, referring to the commentary on AG in the previous post. Waaah. I mean, um, serves him right for misspelling Graffiti, in this reporter’s opinion. In the end Hot, which garnered an Oscar for Costume Design and nominations for Wilder and Lemmon as director and actor respectively, was not able to overcome the angst-humour-nostalgia three play of Graffiti.

No. 11 Rebel Without A Cause defeated No. 6 The Grapes Of Wrath. The Kommissar der Film summed up his decision thusly. It seems Ma Joad's estimation that "We'll go on forever, Pa, 'cause we're the people. We're the people who live" was just so much trash talk.

WHAT TO WATCH:

The second round in the Bergman is not likely to have many surprises upset-wise, but trusting Kos is not something bookies are wan to do. “We don’t like that shifty bastard,” said one gambler who declined to be identified outside the Lars von Trier Center following the Duck/Kwai viewing.

Bonnie & Clyde take on Sunset Boulevard in the closest ranked match, while it’s the battle of the birds when steep underdog Duck Soup goes up against the insanely strong offense of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. Coach Firefly proclaimed he was going to be looking closely at the films of Chief Bromden’s slam dunk routine.

The Fellini also has no matches with less than a five-place gap in rankings, so again no surprises expected, but then how in the fuck could it be a surprise, asshole? Rebel will have its hurdle with third-ranked The African Queen, while the kids from American Graffiti get in the ring with Raging Bull. Watch his left, kids, and don’t fall for that “But it’s SCORSESE, man!” crap from the peanut gallery – you bring the fight to HIM! You got that?! You got that?!
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Labels: madness, movies