Much That Is Hidden

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Alles klar, Herr Kommissar? The second round of the 2007 Movie Madness tourneemint was far from a snore, folks, despite the fact that nearly 75 percent of the matches saw the favorites advance. Is that enough to keep the natives calm? Freak no! We’re talkin’ bonafide MADness here, I mean piss-vinegar cocktails heretofore unmixed! “What is it with men and the freaking Godfather?” Nobody in particular piped up after seeing the Kurosawa’s No. 5 seed GFII give No. 4 Schindler’s List the ultimate kiss off. “And I'll need a defense other than ‘I have a penis, it's in its contract,’” Whoooo, saucy stuff. But for all his power, the Kosinator quickly deferred in the face of the Corleones. “You wanna be the one to piss off Vito and Michael? Not me, kiddo. Let 'em fight it out amongst themselves,” was his rather dickless reply.

The rukus of the after party at Boiled Dinner was by far the triumph of the Kurosawa’s sixth-seed Star Wars over No. 3 Wizard of Oz. Immediately after the game, Joe the Troll mused from beneath his upper mezzanine hideout about Star Wars’ success. “I like the film, but it’s fluffy fluffness,” the Troll said. “It may be why we see far more ‘special effects/action sequences’ films than we do films with real character and plot development.”

Fluff or no, the Oz empire could not muster up enough heart, courage or flying monkey shenanigans to take down Wars’ behemoth center Chewbacca, who was hittin’em from the outside all...freakin’...night, baby! It was enough to make the often stoic Kos wax nostalgic. “There isn't a boy who's seen SW that doesn't pick up every stick he finds and say it's a light saber,” he said wiping a few tears away at the buzzer. What a dork.

Debate was all but non-existent regarding the night’s biggest upset, where Atticus Finch and the No. 7 To Kill A Mockingbird crew put the kaibash on humor in the Kurosawa by flunking the popular The Graduate. The Commish earlier noted that TKAM has been picked by three in the tourney to grab all the marbles, which may explain the underdog film’s tacit advance. More than likely it was Benjamin Braddock’s hapless indecision that cost Graduate the game. “He lacked focus all night,” said head coach and two-time Landlord of the Year Norman “Mr. McCleery-Roper” Fell. “The kid just kept muttering shit about plastics and how he wanted his future to be different.”

In the Bergman, dark comedy’s great white hope stayed alive in the person of the irrepressible (if straitjacketable) Randall Patrick McMurphy. The Cuckoo’s squad laid down some wicked medication time on the Marx Bros. and Duck Soup, with hustle, poise and Juicy Fruit. Nobody does an ending like Cuckoo’s Nest. Nuf said.

Ranked sixth in the Godard, Psycho continued its rampage with an upset over Singin’ In The Rain. “Good film, but who the fuck wants a musical in the regionals?” said team proprietor Norman “Mama’s Got Your Ball” Bates.

Well, at least one person. The match brought forth some introspection from Brad of Stab Film fame. “Singin’ makes fun of itself and the genre it is a part of, but also takes every formula, staple, and stereotype very seriously, elevating itself above the typical musical at the time,” he said, delighting and awing a group of pointy-headed cinemaphiles in the corner at Boiled Dinner. Still, he had to give Hitchcock mad props (ooh, sorry). “I wish I could have seen Psycho for the first time in 1960. I wouldn't have slept for days,” said Brad, whose underdogs are licking wounds after dropping from second to fifth overall from a diminished second round of picks. Still, Brad has his most important hound, Mockingbird, still in this hunt, and at just five points back of leaders Looney and O’Tim The Magnificent, he hasn’t got a prayer.

REGIONALS WATCH: Of course the big ratings will likely go to the two Godfathers dukeing it out at Ang Lee Gym. Star Wars v. Mockingbird determines who goes on to meet either Corleone in the Kurosawa title match, and both seem to have big crowds rooting for them.

In the Bergman it’s going to be 3 v. 2 slugfest ‘tween L.A. hoods Chinatown and Sunset Boulevard. Latest line: pick ‘em, but uh, careful with that close-up, eh, kitty cat? Four-gap underdog Cuckoo’s Nest meets perennial list-topper Casablanca at Rossalini Arena (say that five times fast) for the Bergman north title, and the books are not cutting Bogey any slack, with the line currently mute. Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of Kos?

Godard’s big matchup is Citizen Kane v. It’s A Wonderful Life, no scurvy spider there at the Belmondo. Kane better stay sharp, or they’ll vote with Potter, mark this reporter’s words. Psycho has to clash with juggernaut and favorite Brando in On The Waterfront, which shows no sign of being less than a contender for the semifinals.

The Fellini has got its 3 v. 2 game in The African Queen taking on Lawrence Of Arabia in a no prisoners clash of the titans. It’s Hepburn’s last chance, but Bogey still has Paris. In the north title game Gone With The Wind takes on first-time underdog Jake La Motta the Raging Bull, and mixed feelings abound on the Vegas line. Many are taking the points and Bull, while the traditional swooners stick with the Civil War classic.

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