July 14, 2007

 

I turned in my notice

.
My last day will be the 10th of next month. Jen and I went over the budget, and although we’ll need to engage in some serious sacrifice, the decision for me to become Mr. Mom is in force. The drive behind this change is the fact that having waited until I was past 40 to become a father makes it eminently desirable to stay home and raise my son, rather than assign a large portion of my paycheck to someone else for doing that. Oh, speaking of paychecks, if it wasn’t already obvious, Jen’s is much larger than mine. She is regretting having to return to work next month, having spent all but about a week since February on maternity/summer break at home caring for the boy. She is jealous of me, and I can’t blame her. I hope she will temper that with her knowledge of how hard the stay-at-home parent job is.

As for work, I will miss two of three things - my duties and my co-workers. I will not miss the company. Their spectre of non-chalance toward our little cog in the machine has in fact brought me to the brink of burnout. Two and a half years is at least a year too long to be in the position I hold. I would likely and gladly have made it a career if it provided career-worthy compensation, but they prefer the turnover of an endless string of baby-step college grads. Miz UV once made a funny list of books she wished had been written, and I laughed hard at the one she dubbed “Don’t Forget To Plan For A Career, Dumbass!” I am thankful for getting hired by the best boss I’ve ever had, because this position affirmed that I am capable of doing something that I love as opposed to being resigned to toiling away my days in a visionless occupation (big bucks or no).

I’m not sure what will become of the relationships with some of my co-workers. This is the smallest workforce I’ve ever been a part of – less than a dozen people, and other than a very good friend I met three jobs ago, I’ve never been one to go beyond some occasional post-workday libation with the people I work with. But here about half of us took to hanging out successfully, though I’m not sure if the bonds have become permanent or even if they’re supposed to (if that makes any sense). I’m mindful that the success was pre-baby, with most of it in the admittedly shallow form of fun, so I suppose time will tell if there is to be continuance in the midst of infant parenthood, i.e. much less time for fun. Another aspect is that I was the newcomer among them, and interestingly enough the strongest bond for me has been with another guy who came after me, leaving me to wonder on occasion if there is some hierarchy yet unrealized. There has also been some upheaval and drama with the recent sudden breakup of one fellow and his wife. Their abode was kind of the social nerve center of our group, and it was gone in a virtual flash, leaving all of us in a bit of a flounder with the awkward social implications that are part of most every divorce. The re-group has been interesting, especially since I am the second among what is certain to be three persons leaving their position. Anyway, life will go on, and like so many other capsules of time in one’s life there will at the very least be some good memories. So thanks, folks (if any of them still read my highbrow blog).
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Comments:
Good luck, Tim. Being a SAHD is enormously rewarding, as well as hard going sometimes. You'll also miss contact with adults in general, unless the SAHMs allow you to join a coffee morning group.

Tread carefully where Mrs Tim is concerned, too. You mention her envy, which is not only understandable, but which goes to the very DNA of any mother. There will be resentment, and you'll have to find a way of defusing it. I hope you manage it better than I did.

Still at least you have blogging, and Twitter, and Faceache and all that other stuff to keep in touch. In my day we had to crowd around a valve wireless for the latest messages from the outside world. You young people today don't know how lucky you are.
 
I think that's great for little Max that he can have a parent at home. Good luck! I never enjoyed the SAHM groups, but then again I didn't try that hard to find one that was the right fit for me. Probably a good idea for you though since you're coming from a more social setting. I hope you can keep up some of the work friendships you've made too.

Funny you mention my "book." I've been thinking recently about making a change. We'll see.
 
Some people still read it. We just don't comment :P
 
Congratulations! I'm so happy for you and Jen. It's wonderful that you'll get to be home with Max to see all those firsts that otherwise you'd have to hear about from someone else. I'm so thankful that I was lucky enough to be a SAHM until my two started school.

And actually, you're the third out of a possible four (or five) leaving their position. :)

*HUGS* SSB! Congratulations again. :)
 
Well, now you can give us the real scoop on your cow orkers and not get fired, eh?

And when you get bored, you can teach Max about road trips! :-)

Good luck, mon frer.
 
Congratulations on making such a rewarding decision. Sometimes we can get so tied up in work we forget what else is going on about us so it is to yours and Jens credit that you put family before wages.
All the best in your lifestyle change.
 
You're a lucky bastard. I'd do it if I could. Will you explore any freelance gigs? That's the great thing about being a writer -- you don't have to be "at the office" to do it.
 
That's so the bomb-diggity! I love being at home. I kind of feel for Jen, though, because I know I'd miss my Baby. Well, sometimes I'd miss her. Today when she was throwing tomatoes at the dog I'm pretty sure I would have been happy at work.:)

I just think it's awesome that you're taking that kind of step and you guys are willing to sacrifice like that. Losing that little bit of money (aka the material "extras") doesn't seem so hard when your child gets to spend the day with Daddy instead of daycare.

Good luck!

(Now I know who I can bother during the day when everyone else is "on the bosses dime".:))
 
SG - Thanks. No doubt sage advice from an experienced voice.

Miz UV - The SAH groups are a ways off, but I think I'll dabble, and hopefully find a SAHD or two to relate with.

Beelers - Liar ;P

Rachel - Thanks, and I'd like to think there will be plenty of babysitting ops for you, but so far Jen has insomnia just thinking of a night without Max. Oh, and our A/C went out today.

Joe - when is YOUR road trip? :)

Lucy - Thanks. I fully anticipate it to be a rewarding experience, though at times I may have to adjust my definition of what constitutes a reward!

Jeff - Got my Writer's Handbook, a subscription to a good e-forum on freelancing, and a few contacts from previous f/l work. I'll be available as a stringer, too. On second thought, screw writing - I'm gonna deliver pizzas.

JJ - I smell collaboration. Have your people get with my people.
 
as a parent to three kids(15, 20, and 25 years old), i can say wholeheartedly that you will never, ever regret the decision you two have made. i know i don't.
lucky max, to have such wise ones for parents!
 
Congrats!!!

(it would happen that I didn't check your blog for 2 days only to find you'd posted much good news to read!)
 
I'm so delighted for you that you're going to be at home with Max -- and delighted for him, too. I have always thought that the concept of having a child and then paying someone else to raise said child is rather counterintuitive, and it pleases me very much when someone decides that the best career he or she can have is that of a full-time parent.
 
"Joe - when is YOUR road trip? :)"

In September, to Sedona, Az. to see Stanley Jordan and Mose Allison. Wanna tag along?
 
good for you for staying at home with the kid! i'm sure it's not going to be easy!
 
Of three positions?! Seems like more than that to me... Chrisi, Me, Rachel, You, Eric...anyone else?

Anyway, I'm really proud of the decision you and Jen made. Staying home is a HUGE job itself, but I totally know you're up to the task and it'll be great to form an even stronger bond with Max. Besides the few sacrifices you may have to make are nothing to the joys you'll experience being a SAHD.

Take care.
 
Nice one - it looks like you're looking forward to it, even as you realise how challenging it will be... Still, don't work too hard... stock up on the bonbons, get in full 'Oprah-mode' and have a good time! ;-)
 
I read some of them the others I just scan. Remember your big words need dumbing down at times!;)
We all love you and your stuck with us forEVER! We don't make bonds that don't stick round these parts.
 
A stay at home dad. I'm impressed. Can I throw grapes at you when you finally go off the deep end..don't worry, I won't freeze them first.

Found you via Jenny
 
Best of luck to you! I know it'll be an adjustment, but you will find many, many rewards! YAY for you!
 
Good on ya, dad.

Of course, the freelance thing is always there. I know. I did it for 5 years. Let me tell you, it's quite a seductive lifestyle. And it gives you the chance to stay and take care of your dependents. Mine happened to be the four-legged kind, but at the young age when they're really nothing more than eating, pooping, and playing machines, dogs and kids aren't all that much different.

But the freelance thing. Tough nut. Great hours but potentially very inconsistent business, flaky clients, etc.

And so on.

Ook ook
 
Well, let me know when your person starts talking and my person will call him.:)
 
Annie - Thanks (but you already knew that)

Tams - See what happens when you slack off on important blog viewing? The whole world just whizzes by faster than maggots popping in a hot skillet.

David - Thanks. I think I've known for a awhile that I wasn't destined to be one of those parents.

Joe(2) - Yer on! Send the plane tickets ASAP.

Webmiztris - Thanks. I believe "raising kids" and "easy" go together like chocolate cake with liverwurst icing. Not to discourage you or anything ;)

Angel - words of wisdom from a mommy who knows!

Cheezy - Bon bons and Oprah? You obviously want me to get fat(ter).

Donna - I perceive it most efficacious of my purposes to be the recipient of your magnanimity. Word.

Nikki - Welcome! Throw the grapes before I go bonkers. Aim for my mouth. Yum.

nat - THANKS !

Fez - We've had the four-leggeds for a combined 26 years, so between them and the munchkin I hope clients'll be a breeze.

JJ(2) - first person or first person plural nominative? (my dude's kinda small, so he needs to know)
 
Heh. Tell ya what. You cover the plane, I'll cover the show (which ain't cheap) and the gas.
 
Glad to hear you are going to escape and stay and home with the critter. I miss you and Jen very much. Glad to hear things are great!

And thank you for the memories. I'll always cherish that group.
 
I'm late to the party cause I've been mostly offline, but good for you guys, all of you. I hope it works out well. I've been a SAHM/freelance combo since my daughter was born almost 4 years ago. If you ever want to talk shop, drop an email.
 
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