Much That Is Hidden

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My last day will be the 10th of next month. Jen and I went over the budget, and although we’ll need to engage in some serious sacrifice, the decision for me to become Mr. Mom is in force. The drive behind this change is the fact that having waited until I was past 40 to become a father makes it eminently desirable to stay home and raise my son, rather than assign a large portion of my paycheck to someone else for doing that. Oh, speaking of paychecks, if it wasn’t already obvious, Jen’s is much larger than mine. She is regretting having to return to work next month, having spent all but about a week since February on maternity/summer break at home caring for the boy. She is jealous of me, and I can’t blame her. I hope she will temper that with her knowledge of how hard the stay-at-home parent job is.

As for work, I will miss two of three things - my duties and my co-workers. I will not miss the company. Their spectre of non-chalance toward our little cog in the machine has in fact brought me to the brink of burnout. Two and a half years is at least a year too long to be in the position I hold. I would likely and gladly have made it a career if it provided career-worthy compensation, but they prefer the turnover of an endless string of baby-step college grads. Miz UV once made a funny list of books she wished had been written, and I laughed hard at the one she dubbed “Don’t Forget To Plan For A Career, Dumbass!” I am thankful for getting hired by the best boss I’ve ever had, because this position affirmed that I am capable of doing something that I love as opposed to being resigned to toiling away my days in a visionless occupation (big bucks or no).

I’m not sure what will become of the relationships with some of my co-workers. This is the smallest workforce I’ve ever been a part of – less than a dozen people, and other than a very good friend I met three jobs ago, I’ve never been one to go beyond some occasional post-workday libation with the people I work with. But here about half of us took to hanging out successfully, though I’m not sure if the bonds have become permanent or even if they’re supposed to (if that makes any sense). I’m mindful that the success was pre-baby, with most of it in the admittedly shallow form of fun, so I suppose time will tell if there is to be continuance in the midst of infant parenthood, i.e. much less time for fun. Another aspect is that I was the newcomer among them, and interestingly enough the strongest bond for me has been with another guy who came after me, leaving me to wonder on occasion if there is some hierarchy yet unrealized. There has also been some upheaval and drama with the recent sudden breakup of one fellow and his wife. Their abode was kind of the social nerve center of our group, and it was gone in a virtual flash, leaving all of us in a bit of a flounder with the awkward social implications that are part of most every divorce. The re-group has been interesting, especially since I am the second among what is certain to be three persons leaving their position. Anyway, life will go on, and like so many other capsules of time in one’s life there will at the very least be some good memories. So thanks, folks (if any of them still read my highbrow blog).
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Labels: friends, parenthood, work